Wednesday, October 19, 2016

B is for blue

Upon coming over to put up this post, I decided to continue my journey through the alphabet; and no, I'm not posting about the color, but the mood.


I'm sitting here feeling so damned depressed and discouraged tonight. Some neighborhood vandal has taken a delight in letting the air out of our tires, and it's the only car we have. We don't know who it is, or when they're doing it, even though we're home all the time. A few times, they've even let the air out until the tire is flat.

This has caused great problems for us, as both of us are disabled; and like I said, it's our only car. No, we don't have an air compressor at home. I just recently ordered a little cheap one from Amazon, but it didn't work, so we're having to send it back. Huge disappointment and bummer. And no, we can't keep it in the garage; door doesn't work.

We don't have money to spend on getting the tire checked, buying fix a flat, motion sensor lights, or video surveillance. Yes, I've contacted the local police, but there's not a lot they can do. They made some extra runs by your house, and things were quiet; but I guess they've stopped, and our vandal has started up again.

We have a hard enough time as it is, just making ends meet from month to month. This is just so discouraging; it's a problem we don't need. I have IBS, among other things, and all this stress just makes things worse; till sometimes I don't hardly feel like eating.

Why is someone doing this to us? We're quiet, we mind our own business, we don't bother anyone. Why do they get their jollies out of making our life harder, when it's hard enough already. Now we can't go out and do any grocery shopping until someone helps us get our tires aired up.

I so wish that air compressor had worked; we really needed it to work. The motor ran, but it didn't air anything up. In fact, the tire lost a pound of air. We have to beg for help to get the tires aired up. We need one that is good and really works good, but we can't afford a good one. All we can afford is crap that doesn't work.

Why can't things get easy for us? Why do they always have to be so hard all the time? I'm so bummed out and depressed. We both are disabled and live with chronic pain, and now to have these hassles. Some people have good luck hand over fist. We never do. Once in a while we'll have a tiny bit of good luck, here and there. But we don't get used to it, don't expect it to continue, cause we know it won't.

I'm so tired of the constant ongoing struggle. Don't know what to do, no solution. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and give up. Tonight is one of those times.
-- jd --

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Letting go of a dream

To start off with, let's make it clear what kind of dreams I'm talking about. I'm not talking about the kind of dreams you have at night when you're asleep. No, this isn't about those kind of dreams.

What I'm talking about is something you aspire to do, a cherished hope or ambition. That's the kind of dreams I'm talking about. I figure pretty much everybody has at least one sometime. I know I have had several. Having them can be fun, and it can be heartbreaking and life-changing when you have to let one go.

When you have to let one go, when you lose one, a little part of you dies right along with that dream; and then it leaves an empty spot in you. Yes, you'll recover and go on; but you'll never be quite the same. It changes you.

A show about giving up a dream
Over the past several weeks, we've been watching this season's America's Got Talent show. There were a lot of talented people to cross their stage. And all of them except for one, no matter what their act or level of talent or skill or experience, got a lesson in losing a dream.

The winner was a 12 year old squeaky-voiced girl who shook when she took the stage, playing a ukulele that she had for only a year. She didn't win because of talent. She won because of popularity. She didn't deserve the win she got, and they didn't do her any favors. Over the course of that show, a 12 year old girl turned into a nervous, stressed kidult; and lost something precious in the process - the rest of her childhood.

Many more talented acts left the stage in disappointment, giving up a dream of winning that competition. Adults left that stage, who deserved to win more. But the one I think I'll remember the most is 62 year old Ronee Martin. Check out this video of her:

She was, by far, the most talented person on the show. By rights, she should have won. But she was kicked out early on, and it had nothing to do with her talent. It had to do with her age. Obviously many thought she was too old.

In fact, all the contestants over 50 were shuttled off the show early on. It was an obvious case of age discrimination. Yeah, let them on the show, and let them compete a little bit, but get rid of them before it gets serious. And in the end, a 12 year old who didn't sing that great won it all. Both sad and disgusting. It ruined my night.

But it awakened me to a fact.

Too old to have a dream?
My hubby remembers hearing Simon Cowell say on air on one of the AGT shows, about Ronee Martin, that he thought she was too old to start a career. Did he think her too old to have a dream?

The sad fact of our times is that people in general, who are under 50, don't want appreciate people over 50. Read this article for a better take on what I'm saying:
This was painfully obvious on this season of America's Got Talent.
I won't be watching that show again.

So does one get too old to have a dream of something new that they would like to achieve? I don't think so. I never have. Keeping busy, keeping things to do that you enjoy, those are the spice of life.

Me and my dreams
I've had a lot of dreams, and went through the painful process of having to let them go. It hurt, but I survived and went on. Fast forward to now. Back in 2012, I drug out of the closet the last of my dreams, that of being a published author. Now I am a writer, I have been since high school. But I don't consider myself an author, because I've never published a book.

I developed this dream during my high school days, back in the late 1970s. But my mom made a point to tell me how unrealistic it was, so I shelved it, figuring that later on in my life, I would pull it out and pursue it. Well, in 2012, I did just that. Then life got in the way. A lot of things have happened, none of them helpful to what I wanted to do; none of which I care to go into. But I've decided to give up on this last dream of publishing a book, and I thought it deserved some kind of a send off. To publish a book, I'd need $30,000 cash, minimum. I won't go into the details why, but they're legitimate. Besides, there's so many out there and then there's my age.

Writing to please me
Back when I started writing, back in high school, I had fun with it. It was fun then. And I want to get back to that. I want to get away from wondering if it is good enough, if I am any good as a writer, if anyone will like what I'm writing. I want to get back to just pleasing me and me alone with my writing. If others like it, great. If they don't, so what. If I like it, that's what matters; and I need to put the joy and fun back into my writing.

When I want to share my fiction writing, I plan on publishing on wattpad. I want to focus on my book review blog, and give more attention to my other blogs.

So I'm not giving up writing, just the idea of publishing a book. Someday, maybe if things clear up, I might reconsider it. But for right now, it's off the table and out the door, to hang out with all my other expired dreams.


Friday, August 5, 2016

A is for August

So, I've decided to blog through the alphabet, from A to Z. I did a bit of googling, and I know that there's an official challenge that goes off in April of each year. But they want you to blog each and every day ...... yeahhhhh, that may not happen. But whether or not I do it every day, or however often I choose to continue the alphabet posts, I thought it would be an interesting thing to do.

Besides, this A to Z thing is an old friend to me. A good while back, many years ago in fact, I started this mental game to pass the time when I was somewhere and was bored. I would simply go through the alphabet, with the requirement that I had to come up with a word for each letter. Sometimes I would have a category that I would go by, and a lot of the time it would be just random. I still use it sometimes to try to get to sleep; it's very helpful with that.

A is for August.
I like August, at least now I do.
When I was but a youngling, back in my school days, I had a love/hate relationship with August. It was the traditional month when the Kentucky state fair took place, and me and my parents used to go a lot. But it was also when school started. I didn't particularly like school. It wasn't the teachers or the studying that I minded. It was the kids I was in school with, road the bus with. I was teased a lot, all the way from grade school until high school. I don't have a lot of good school memories. But I do have some good memories of the state fair.

Now, I'm 55, and many years out from my school days, and I like August. Because I hate July. Several years ago, I got overheated real bad, and now I just can't take the heat. During the hottest part of summer, I just hibernate inside under the air conditioning. Here in Kentucky, that's July.

But when we get to August, ..... ahhhhh, sweet August, it heralds the return to cooler weather and fall. Don't get me wrong, August is still quite warm; but I know that September will be cooler, and in October, the weather will be nice.

The seasons, in order of preference by me:

  1. Fall, because it is the beginning of cooler weather;
  2. Spring, because it comes after winter and brings with it so many spring flowers;
  3. Winter, because I can stand to get out in cold weather;
  4. Summer, because during the hot days, I have to hibernate inside; and by the end of summer I have a bit of cabin fever. 
So there you have it.
A is for August.
-- jd --

Saturday, July 23, 2016

The hot days of summer

Well, here in Kentucky, it is summer. And July here isn't just hot, it's humid too. Sometimes, walking out your door is like walking into a sauna.

Me, I hibernate inside during summer. Several years ago, I got overheated, and so I don't handle heat well anymore.

My seasonal preferences are as follows:
1 fall
2 spring
3 winter
4 summer

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

A new way to post

I'm going to be trying something out that I haven't utilized a lot before now, and that is email posting. It's a neat feature that blogger offers, that will hopefully have me posting more often in this blog.

The posts may be short, but I'm going to try it out. Hope you like what I share.

Technology is wonderful, and I love computers.

Till next time. -- JD --

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

My book preferences

In my younger years, (I'm 55 now, and got away from reading for a while), my main reading preferences was fantasy, science fiction, and romance novels. Back in 2011, I discovered ereaders, and renewed my love of reading.

Now, I have a kindle and am always reading something. I was just sitting here at the computer going through my book emails, and thought it would be fun to do a post on my reading preferences. So, here goes:

The book emails I get:

  • BookSends
  • BookBub
  • eBookSoda
I've subscribed to several different ones, and these are the 3 that I like best, and have kept.

My favorite genres to read:

  • science fiction,
  • fantasy,
  • paranormal romance
  • romance
  • western romance
  • historical romance
  • mysteries
  • westerns
And I think that covers it pretty much.
As for genres I won't read:

  • horror, of any kind
  • stuff that's very, very violent
  • and not too fond of apocalyptic themes
  • anything that's real gory
I think you get the general idea. My tv and movie choices pretty much mirror my book genre preferences. Some tv shows I like a lot are:

  • NCIS, all 3, especially loved the DiNozzo season finale
  • Lucifer, can't wait to find out who 'mum' is
  • Killjoys
  • Scorpion
  • Major Crimes
  • Hallmark romance movies
  • Hallmark mystery movies
Yes, I do have a book review blog. Here's the link for that, in case you'd like to check out some of my reviews:
The Leisure Zone
** Note to authors - at the moment, I have a pretty full read and review list. **

If you want to keep up with what I'm currently reading, you can do that on Goodreads -- me on goodreads -- I keep it updated pretty good now.

I don't care for continued or cliffhanger books. With my book review blog, unless the author sends me all of the series to review, I usually don't get around to reading anything else in the series.

I do like, and much prefer, stand alone novels. If they're part of a series, that's cool too.

I've gotten to where I don't care for multi-author box sets too much. Here's why:  You'll have usually a two or three 4-5 star books, then you'll usually have at least a couple 3 star books; and then there are the 1 and 2 star books, the clunkers in the set. Plus, you spend forever reading that box set. I'm getting to where I enjoy just the individual novels instead.

So, I guess that about winds up this post. If you have any questions for me, just post them in the comments. Thanks for stopping by.

-- jd --

Friday, June 3, 2016

Facebook live

Tonight I discovered a fun new toy - facebook live.

Did you know just about anyone can broadcast live on facebook? Well they can. I've somehow, (don't ask me how because I don't know), set it up where I get notifications when some people in my facebook sphere go live.

Tonight, it was Larry Gatlin and friends, live from the grand ole opry. After that finished, somehow I ended up on a map of ALL the live facebook broadcasts around the world! That was so neat. I spent a nice little chunk of time checking that all out, all around the world.

Here's the link, if you want to try it:

It's a lot of fun.

Take care,
-- jd --